A few nights ago, as I was falling into that eerie pre-sleep, that twilight of awareness, I sensed my being was encountering an impediment, much like a clog in an artery. It wasn’t visual, nor did my mind try to form words around the experience; I listened as the channels of energy in my body spoke to me. I was blocked, my energy flow at an impasse. Urgency arose in my muscles and tissues, and I became attached to the destruction of the obstacles in my way.
I began to spin out, thoughts racing like a school of tiny fish under attack, darting to and fro without plan or purpose- searching for an escape, over, under, around. My wheels were spinning, but they weren’t even on the ground. Force was futile. In these matters of the mind and body, the only way out is always through.
I gathered my Self at center, allowing space to grow between each thought, and realized I could remove the obstacles by simply reaching out with my mind and dissolving them where they stood. No striving- just doing.
Upon further meditation and retrospection, the realization grew within me: I was able to remove that which impeded the flow of my energy when I stopped trying to separate myself from the obstacle, and accepted it as a piece of myself. I was simultaneously the energy of life, the oppositional force, and the path upon which both existed.
The illusion of separation engenders anxiety and depression in this existence, but when we absorb all the jagged, uncomfortable, unbecoming parts of ourselves, we absolve them as well, and truly become whole, ready to move on to the next phase of growth.
From a comfortable, supported seat, allow the eyes to close and hands to rest palms down on the knees. Begin to notice the inhale and exhale, drawing attention to the length of each. Bring some control into the breath- let the inhale and exhale be the same length, with a brief pause after the exhale. Relish the emptiness of holding the exhale; take pleasure in drinking the inhale in.
After a few minutes of this conscious breath, allow the rhythm to return to normal, releasing control of the inhales and exhales. Draw focus to the space between the eyebrows, the Third Eye. Let your consciousness resonate there, feeling a slight sense of reverberation. As you inhale, imagine pulling light in through the opened Third Eye, as you exhale, imagine the light washing down and over you, bathing you in a glowing rain. With each inhale, the light gets brighter, with each exhale, your light aura reaches out further from your being, eventually encompassing all that is around you. Stay here as long as is comfortable and then be done- but allow yourself the time and space to experience the meditation in its fullness.
Return to your daily life with mindfulness- perhaps waiting a little longer than you wish to check your phone, take five minutes longer than usual to pet your dog or hug your child. Remember that you always carry the brightest light within; as do we all.